Comedy

Sonora told this joke last night:

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken. HONK!

Art by Sonora

Merry Christmas, sort of...

These would be some of my pics for Christmas cards if I had the ebnergy to crop and upload them to Shutterfly. And then order them. And then address and mail them. Woo, I am tired just thinking about it. Happy Holidays!!!

Thanksgiving Tree by Grandma Sue and Sonora

Conversations with Sonora

Lately, I am the Friendly Ghost. Which involves a lot of ghostly "Woooooooo" and speaking in falsetto. Also, calling her "Human Child."

Conversations with Xavier

X: Mommy!
Me: Xavier?
X: Mommy!
Me: Yes?
X: WHAT?

Potty Mouth

Here is my question: how bad is this word? Bootie Butt.
Because it is getting a lot of airtime here.

Ok, not one of Carlin's 7 words you can't say on television. But still? Here is some context, you can let me know what you think... funny or punishable offense? It's not the Bootie part I mind, it is the second part. Yuk.

Sonora: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Sonora: BOOTIE BUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Xavier: Bootie Butt!!

(Sometimes she treats me to some choreography, a little bootie butt boogie. Unless she is actually sitting on the potty, which is where a lot of the knock knock exchanges take place.)

On a related note, Xavier has gotten on the Knock Knock joke bandwagon (monkey see, monkey imitate hilariously).

Xavier: Nah-Nock!
Me: Who's there?
X: Nah-Nock! [Grins]
Me: Who's there?
X: Pfffffffffbtth!

Anybody know any knock knock jokes? I am really tired of the 6 or so that we have been telling around here.

Stall Tactics

Xavier tried a novel way to get to stay up later... at bedtime after Sonora was peacefully asleep, he looked at me with wide eyes and said, "Peepee dahper, Mama, faffoom. Pobby." Which in English means, well, "Bathroom. Potty" are the last 2 words, you can probably figure out the rest.

So up we got and he sat on the potty. But refused to take off his diaper. You can guess what happened next. Right back to bed. Under protest.

Happy Holidays, Decor by Sonora

Yes, that is a fork hanging on the tree.

Just a fluke.... Xavier has decided he is Not Ready. I asked him if he wanted to sit on the potty the other day. His eyes widened and he said, "No tant you, Mommy. No tant you. No tant you...."

Although maybe he is just modest. I found him this morning sitting on the potty chair (still in diaper), but he got up as soon as he saw me.

Sonora saw a picture of Barack Obama the other day. She pointed at it and said, "Mommy! Look! It's Roppo Boppo!"

Xavier is potty training himself, I guess. He has started to remove his diaper and THEN come tell me that he needs a new one. Yesterday he sat on the potty chair, but I got distracted... and then realized he had "gone" on the floor... right beside the potty chair. Fortunately on tile! Now if we can get me trained to potty train....

Sonora has wearied of being the Snow Princess who always has to sit around and be saved. Recently, she has been trying on the role of the mean witch who gets to fly around, snatch the magic crystal from the helpless princess, and shout, "Now it will never snow again! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Another variation is that she plays the Sun Princess who befriends the poor mean witch (me) who hates the snow because it is too cold for her witch's powers to work.

When she does like to be the Snow Princess, she usually offers the mean witch a crystal that she can have for her own, instead of snatching it from someone else.

More expressions he has picked up from big sister:

Hepp! Hepp! Tebble! (Help, help, it's terrible!) - Sonora is currently practicing her damsel in distress act, based on Dora Saves the Snow Princess.

She came to me with tears in her eyes after a stormy meltdown, and said, "Mama, I'm sorry I had to give you bad news."

Post from Gramma Sue

My latest is Sonora-is-ms as opposed to Sue-is-ms

So Sonora and I are singing songs Saturday to amuse her while her Mommy cleans the carpet. I say “Let’s sing!” She says “Good, let’s sing the ABC song, etc, etc…..” We proceed to sing every song we both know and then I begin to sing ones she doesn’t know

– like “The BIBLE” and “This Little Light of Mine”
– She says “what’s that song?”
– I say, “It is from church when I was a little girl.”
– She GASPS “WHAT? YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL? JUST LIKE ME?”

She IS a funny girl!! Halloween she was a Beautiful Princess! Xavier was proudly a Fireman!!

While I was in Michigan Dottie and Alex were trying to call me something in their cute repertory of words. They want to say Gramma but they don’t yet have the “grr” sound ability down so Alex just calls me “Ba Ma.” Near the election he would say “Oh, Ba Ma!” Right, And I am the new president!!

Dottie is the “Queen of Clothes!!” She can whip on and off her clothes faster than you can believe. If it is into fun dress up clothes, even better!! They are such darling and delightful kids. Plan A for Costumes for Halloween was “Thing 1 and Thing 2” Wonderful, clever and cute costumes!! Plan B was Beautiful Butterfly Dottie and anything we can GET Alex to wear. He did wear the Fireman hat for a short while!! Reminds me of his father and hating clothes when he was little!

Xman's new word: Doot = Cute

He looks at Sonora and says, "Awwwww, dass doot!" (Aw, that's cute!)

Halloween - Trick or Treating on Miracle Mile

Sonora Speaks

Tonight, she got frustrated with me, and sat in the recliner and yelled, "Dadgummit! Dadgummit! DADGUMMITTTTTTTT!"

Later, she came into the living room wearing a hooded towel, and told me, "Now I'll be Supergirl and you be the Trouble."

Xavier loves a blanket. Unfortunately, I can't figure out which way he wants it arranged so that he can go to sleep. He cries pitifully for the bleh-blet, and grabs it when I put it over him, but then kicks his legs out or rolls over or pulls it off, and then cries for it again. Surely there is some trick to this??? Surely it's not just a psychological experiment he is performing on me?

Xavier is also saying, "No fofa!" = Sonora is on the back or side of the sofa, which she is not supposed to be doing. Self-righteous indignation, accompanied by finger-pointing.

Tonight I left them alone in the living room for approximately 7 minutes while I vacuumed the bedroom (it really needed it, and Xavier woke up coughing several times last night). I noticed nobody was crying and trying to open the locked bedroom door. That couldn't be good. When I opened up the door, Sonora proudly informed me with sparkling eyes that they had been playing a game called, "Jump From the Sofa into the Nest." That will teach me to try to do any housework, don't you think?

He sez, She sez

What Xavier is also saying:

Wha are you doing, Mommy?
Nee'Dat! [Followed by finger pointing at object of desire]
Wan'Dat! [Followed by finger pointing at object of desire]

What Sonora is saying:
In reference to going to kindergarten (SOMEDAY): "That just makes me nervous. Because I will miss my Mom."

In her superhero cape, hands on hips, legs akimbo, "What seems to be the
problem here?" I have no idea where she learned that one, but it was hysterical.

LeXicon

What Xavier is saying:

Yuppy, yuppy, yuppy - If he enthusiastically agrees with whatever you have just said/asked.
Doopy, doopy, doopy - he says this as he is going about his day, sort of a filler or song.
Vavy - Xavier
Wha' Hoppy? = What happened? I always think of A Mighty Wind when he says this.
Why, Mama? - He doesn't know what it means, but he knows he is supposed to repeat it 12,000 times.
Onda Bed! = Means he wants to play on the bed, with company.
Pleep = Sleep. It's a ploy. He wants me to put his blanket over him so he can pretend to sleep for 2 seconds, then pop back up and repeat.
I Cry = [Pathetically] he is crying.
Lawler = stroller
Lawley= glasses
Bombone - 76 Trombones. Sing it. Now.
Kite = Let's go Fly a Kite. Sing it. Now.

I had a humourous conversation with Shannan the other day about parenting... I told her that my philosophy was... just lower the bar. Feeling stress about your to-do list? Lower the bar, feel good that you accomplished 1 thing. And so forth. Of course I was making it up on the spot as we went along. The whole Lower the Bar philosophy would come completely unhinged if it was premeditated in any way. However, I did think of something else to add to the equation. Chocolate. And failing that, vodka.

Actually, there's no set order, you can mix the elements up in any order you like. That's the beauty of it.

There are still too many boxes. But we seem to have settled into a routine, of sorts. I have learned my way around a little bit, and slowly keep expanding my horizons. Although I haven't really been anywhere other than Target/Publix/IGA/Walgreens/JD's office at the University. And back to Tampa a time or two. But I am getting there.

We played with some flattened out boxes on the stoop today, they made a great slide. Sonora invented a game called Dirt Ball. In which she scoops up dirt into the dump truck. Then ladles a handful of dirt onto a ball. And then rolls the ball to shake the dirt off. Dirt Ball. Simple. Entertaining. Fun for the whole family.

Sonora and Xavier are having a great time, he is a receptive and responsive audience and she is a tireless performer. Tonight she must have sung Row, row, row your boat 40 times, with extemporaneous lyrics on "Life is but a ... [bowl of spaghetti, Mommy, Daddy, Sonora, Xavier, Bootie....etc.] And each time he would howl with laughter and cry,"Row, row!" to get her to sing it AGAIN. They didn't need me to be entertained for a good half hour!!!!

She is often quite compassionate with him. Today when he was getting antsy while I read a book to her, she offered him a toy to distract him. And it worked. Now, a few hours later she was screaming when he touched her with his toes at bedtime. But still.

This is me 4 years ago, give or take...

I still look pretty much the same (tired and disheveled), but no cute baby to take center stage!

Interview with the Vampire

For Sonnie's birthday, we made cupcakes with a red velvet cake mix and a can of pumpkin puree. Although delicious, the batter was a frighteningly bright stainy red. I was going to post pictures of the process, including beater and bowl licking, but the pictures were just too disturbing, think: Claudia, the child vampire from Interview With A Vampire. Here are some delicious pictures of Sonora as a baby instead.

Happy Birthday, Sonora True!

Party Pooped!

Have my people call your people....

Chillin'

All they really needed....

Don't know why we bothered with bringing down the furniture and clothes and toys. ;)

Finally found where they packed the kids....

We truly do have a laundry tsunami going on here... I have been trying to rid the washer at this house of fabric softener residue, and laundry is piling up!!! Not to mention the sloooooooooow process of unpacking. But we're getting there. Soon I hope to be rid of the smell of cardboard dust and the crinkle of packing paper. And hope that poor X recovers from his eczema.... I think/hope it was caused by the fabric softener scum in the washer. If not, well, on to the next idea.

I saw a sign that broke my heart... a daycare advertising that they are open 24 hours a day.

Music Man Update

Wells Fargo Wagon is the new fave scene. Also, X likes to "conduct."

Xavier is Listening...

This morning he glared at me and said, "No Mama, no Mama, Noooooooo. Undahtan'?" [Understand?]

Which I say to Sonora approximately 17,000 times a day.

We have been watching The Music Man A LOT. Every night, and if he could, Xavier would watch it all day long. I have to admit I am charmed that they think I am Marian the Librarian. Sonora loves to sing 76 Trombones, she is getting a lot of the words. She also likes to sing the "La-dee-dah" song as she calls it (Minuet in G).

Xavier calls it An' Na Man, and asks plaintively for it all day long. I have to be careful not to actually say the name of the musical, unless I want to fend him off.

Unpacking is going veeerrrrrrry slowly. But I have lots of assistance. Every minute, Sonora wants to open another box. "What's in this one?????" She wants to know. Then I spend the next hour wrestling the contents away from her. LOL.

Sonora and Xavier have adjusted quite easily to the new house. We are learning our way around, slowly but surely. And I have found that they are my best assets. Today I had to pack everyone up and go down to the UPS location to pick up a package that I wasn't able to sign for at home. When I got there, the clerk asked for proof of our Miami address... Ooops.... I checked the car and couldn't find an electric bill or anything with me. So she went to ask her supervisor. Apparently, he had been laughing so hard at Xavier playing with the Red Sox ball cap that he was like, "fuggedaboutit..."

Also, Sonora's beautiful red hair is irresistible to the ladies down here. And it doesn't hurt that X is in a "Miss America" phase where he waves goodbye to everyone whether he knows them or not.

At the grocery store, Sonora skipped through the aisles singing "76 Trombones" and then urging me, "Sing with me, Mama!"

So either people are completely charmed by them or completely sympathetic to me... ;)

Air Xavier

X-man can jump! He's not catching very much air, but he is definitely getting off the ground.

He also loves Ring Around the Rosie, which MUST include Sonora. He is heartbroken and will not do it without her if she refuses.

This morning our realtor brought his photographer wife over to the house to take pictures for the Virtual Tour, once we list the house. Sonora went back to our bedroom and hid under the covers the entire time we were there, she told me she was Too Sad and didn't want the pictures. So I packed up the kids, went to Target and did some retail therapy. She got a new dress and some ballet slippers. So all afternoon I was Dance Teacher Rebecca and she was Juliamme the Dancer.

No, that's not a typo. She very emphatically corrected me when I called her Julianne. Juli-AMME.

Yes-whereland

Sonora has been captivated by imaginary playmnates. She thinks that Maggie and the Ferocious Beast in Nowhereland should really be in Yes-whereland.

And all day she has been making up new adventures based on The Magic Treehouse audio books we got from Wendy's kids meals. She is Annie, so that means I am Jack. Also, we have to sing our own version of the song that is included at the end of each audiobook, which is from the musical version of TMTH.

Xavier is talking more and more. He loves to say "Fweeee!" [Freeze!] Which he learned playing Freeze Tag with Sonora and our amazing babysitters Sam and Stephanie. Today he said a 3 word sentence, but I cannot remember what it was. When we read 5 Little Monkeys, he loves to point his fingers and shout, "No More!" [Monkeys Jumping On the Bed.]

In fact, I have become so tired of saying No to him and hearing him say No, that I have even been reduced to getting all PC with the 5 little monkeys today after Sonora and Xavier were having a ball jumping on the bed. Here's my version:

Five little monkeys relaxing on the bed,
One fell asleep and Mama patted his head,
Mama called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Yes! Little monkeys should be re-laxing on the bed!"

Amazingly, they bought it. This time. I think I actually saw relief on X's face whenever I said the last line. Hmmmmmm.

Oh yeah, and X quotes Chicka Chicka Boom Boom... whenever I say the words Skit Skat Skoodle Doot, he gets a big proud grin on his face and says, "Flip Flop Flee!"

Music Man, Part Deux

So tonight we watched The Music Man for some much needed distraction. Sonora was really glued to it most of the time. She is now saying, "Ye gods!" and giggling like crazy.

Xavier liked it too, but really just paid attention to Shirley Jones' solo stuff. Mostly, he wanted me to read Chicka Chicka Boom Boom twelve thousand times. In fact, I ended up reciting it to him at bedtime over and over ad dormitas. Is that the right Latin phrase meaning "to sleep"? Or did I just say I recited it to him all the way to the dormitory????

Some artwork by Sonora, several months ago. Mahani gave me the good idea of posting digital pictures of, well, pictures. And I just happened to see that I took a phone pic of this. Mahani, where are you? Got anything up for us to look at?????

I showed Sonnie the informational flyer about the house we are renting in Miami, because there are a few pictures of the rooms in it. Then, thinking it would reassure her, I told her that of course we are packing up all our furniture and toys and clothes and whatnot to take to Miami. She glared at me and pointed at the sofa (which we were sitting on) and said, "No we can't. Do you see this? It is Old. We canNOT take it with us." Then she pointed at the ghastly green sofa in the picture and said, "THIS is our new sofa." Yikes!

Oh, and by the way, looky down there. See the word Comments in blue? Click on it and leave a message!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

The Longest Day of My Entire Lfe

Oh yeah, so guess what punishment, I mean Discipline, Super Mom comes up with? No TV for the rest of the day. I should have just poked my own eyes out. But it did make an impression. On both of us, I should say :)

In fact, when her friend Katelyn arrived to play, almost the first thing Sonnie told her was, "My Mom said No TV."

File this one under I Should Have Known....

So I am brushing the pool in the backyard this morning, something I do not often do by myself, and this is why... Of course, I have both kids out on the back porch, behind the safety fence so I can see them but I don't have to worry about them taking a dip in the deep end. I look up and notice that the french door is open, and that Sonora has wandered inside. She comes back shortly, and is in & out a few times. I don't think much of it, because I see her, and really, she is never out of my sight for that long, right? Riiiiiiiiight.

"Mommy," her face is worried as I come in from the pool. Her dress is soaking wet in the front. "I did something really bad...."

You knew this was coming right? The bathroom sink is overflowing onto the floor and still running. There is a miminum of half an inch of water on the floor and the hall carpet is soaked. And we have company due to arrive in less than 20 minutes.....

Party at the Preschool

Sonora and Katelyn chow on some cake
Xavier really does love Miss Luisa, but not when Mommy shows up.
Miss Paula, the director. She loves both of them, but she's no fool, she didn't even try to take Xavie for a pose.

So, tonight at bed time Xavier flings down his bottle, throws himself down on his stomach, and immediately begins to fake snore, Honk-shoooooooo, honk-shooooo. I am in so much trouble.....

Earlier, during X's bath, Sonora came in to the bathroom scowling at me, "Mommy, you have Gruined my party. GRUINED IT!!!!!!!" And stomped off. Then, a few minutes later she came back, hugged me and smiled, "You didn't really gruin it, Mommy."

Picture of Xavier in carseat on the way to Baptism. Hard to believe he really needed one :)

O.M.G.

I didn't think it was possible to be more tired, now that I am no longer working "outside the home." Apparently, a 3YO and an 18-month-old do indeed need more attention than 40 helpless salespeople, 2 sales managers, and 1,000 or so mortgage brokers. Stop laughing at me, I can hear you....

Semantics

JD caught Sonora taking Xavier by the hand, gently telling him that it was, "Time to go to time out." Of course he stopped her and told her that only we could put Xavier into time out. Without skipping a beat, and never letting go of Xavie, she said, "OK, Xavie, it's time to find a special place."

We often see her leading him around the house by the hand these days, and he always has an expression of delighted anticipation. Which makes me a little nervous.

Sonora has been saying many priceless things, but I cannot for the life of me remember any of them right now. Consider this a placeholder, there should be some good comedy coming up soon.

Fond Farewell

Friday was the official last day at La Petite (daycare) for Sonora & Xavier. So we brought treats, and surprisingly they let me actually leave the premises with both kids. Migdalia did graciously tell me that I could visit Xavier whenever I wanted to, but she was keeping him, thank you very much.

Music to my ears: The last couple of weeks I have heard this refrain many times from all the teachers, including the directors, "Why do the good ones always have to leave?" :)

Actually, some of the teachers have been downright irate with me...

Update

Xavier can now open doors by reaching up on his tiptoes and turning the doorknob. I am afraid, very afraid.

Email address

We'll be moving soon and probably changing our internet service. If you have my email address as zanshaw (at) earthlink (dot) net, please change it to my Yahoo email - which is zannashaw (at) Yahoo (dot) com. Thanks!

Some Pics of Xavier's Baptism

What Sonora is Saying

It's not fair! = well, you know.

Me (sharply, to Xavier): No, don't get into that!
Sonora (calmly, to me): He's just a little baby. Don't scream at him. He's just a little baby.

More LeXicon

On-na = Sonora
Ah wah = I want!
Ah Mo = Want More! (or Want Milk)
Taitchu = Thank You
Pweeeeeeeeeeeee! = Please!
Choo = Shoes
Blu'Clu' = Blues Clues
Wawa = Water, Oswald (TV show), or Wow Wow (another TV show)
Gabba! = Yo Gabba Gabba (another TV show... I love/hate the Noggin channel)
Bebby = belly, usually accompanied with a visual aid.

Woo, he is talking up a storm, he is giving Sonora a run for her money.

Belated Birthday Bash for JD

Thank you, Sue, for the pictures!